Still holding on
by Brittany1
Summary: How the team copes with Daniel's death


Title: Still Holding On  
Author: Brittany  
Season: 5 set right after meridian  
Rating: G  
Category: General  
Content warnings: none  
Status: Complete  
Spoilers: Meridian, revelations, 100 days, Desperate Measures, Crossroads  
Summery: How the team copes with Daniel's death  
Disclaimer: all things you recognize from the show belong to their receptive owners and no money was made.  
Author's note: thanks to my friend for helping to inspire me to continue with this and thanks to all you readers out there! Suggestions and flames welcome.  
  
  
  
  
  
Still Holding On  
  
  
By  
  
Brittany  
  
  
  
General Hammond, Dr. Fraiser, Jacob, and what was left of SG-1 stood solemnly starring at the gurney on which Daniel Jackson had lay. Now he was gone. Ascended to a higher plane of existence. What had to be the worst part about this was the fact that they couldn't be sure he was dead. He was still a "living entity" though not in his body. By all accounts he should be dead.  
"Well what now?" Jacob asked breaking the stillness that had fallen over them. The rest of the team cast their gaze on him unsure of what to say. Hammond took over to fill the uncomfortable gap.  
"SG-1 you're on stand down for the next 24 hours. Jacob come with me if you will."  
"Yeah. Bye Sam. Sorry I couldn't do any more for you guys." Jacob left the room quietly with general Hammond. After a brief moment, Dr. Fraiser began to clean things up in her routine fashion. SG-1 slowly cleared out of the room starting with O'Neill, until Carter and Janet were the only ones left. Sam still had a look of shock and sadness in her eyes.  
"You ok?" Janet asked approaching her friend carefully.  
"I'm fine," she said trying to hide the looks of sorrow that were previously expressed so blatantly on her face.  
"Look, it's alright to be upset about this. We all are."  
"But why did he want to do this?"  
"I don't know. We may never know why."  
"Do you think he'll ever come back?"  
"I hope so. But I also think we also have to be prepared that he might not be coming back."  
"I know. Thanks Janet."  
"No Problem," Fraiser said.  
Sam finally made her way out the infirmary. She walked through the halls to her lab. Upon entering she sat down and let her head fall into her hands. She couldn't understand why he would want to do something like this. To shatter the bonds they had. To cut himself off from everything that had been real to him for all his life. To go on exiting as an entirely different being. In all honesty, she couldn't comprehend.  
A knock then sounded itself at the door. She turned to see the colonel standing in the entrance with the door slightly ajar.  
"Can I come in?" he asked tentatively.   
"Sure."  
O'Neill pushed the door open a little more and entered the room.  
"Can I help you Sir?"  
"I was just wondering how you were doing with all this," the colonel asked as he sat down on the chair next to her.  
"I'm fine," she said looking away trying to prevent him from seeing the remorse that now showed on her face.  
"Sam I know this is hard on you. It's hard on all of us."  
"No Sir I'm fine."  
"Carter! I know you're not so don't bother trying to pretend that you are."  
She looked at him, her eyes filling up with tears.  
"Sam...," he started to say.  
"Why would he do this? Why would he give up everything?"  
"I don't know. But right now it doesn't matter, because there is nothing we can do to change what he did. But we can learn to accept it. And that's what we're going to have to do."  
"I just... I just can't believe that he's gone."  
"I know. Neither can I."  
"I.. I wish we could have him back," she stuttered to say as the tears in her eyes began to flow free.  
He pulled her into a hug and let her rest her head on his shoulder. "I know. I do too."  
They sat there for several minutes as he held her trying to ease the pain, which was lurking inside her. Finally she pulled away.  
"You gonna be ok?"  
"I'll be fine. Thanks."  
"No problem."  
O'Neill stood up and left her lab heading down the hall in the direction of Teal'c's quarters. As he neared his destination, the smell of Teal'c's candles alerted him to the fact the Teal'c was most likely meditating. He moved quietly into the room so as not to disturb his friend. Not seconds later, Teal'c eyes snapped open.  
"Teal'c."  
"O'Neill. I wish to offer some kind of a prayer for Daniel Jackson."  
"Ok."  
"How would I go about doing such a thing?"  
"You've never done something like that before?"  
"On Chulack it was customary for us to refrain from eating for one day and night to honor the dead."  
"Well that certainly isn't necessary."  
"We also lit a great bon fire and collected their ashes to spread on sacred grounds."  
"Well that might be a little hard considering we don't even have Daniel's body."  
"What then do you suggest I do?" Teal'c asked.  
"Well on earth we generally ask God to watch over the dead. And pray that they rest in peace.  
"God?"  
"Well just like with Jaffa, we have our own god or gods on earth. Some chose to believe in him or them and others don't."  
What does this God do."  
"Well we like to believe that he watches over us and protects us.  
"How would one God be able to watch over your entire world?"  
"We don't know. Some people have theories that God can't watch over all of us at once and that's why bad things happen to us."  
"How would I go about praying to this God?"  
"Well.. you ask him to protect Daniel and let him rest in Peace. Daniel was much better at explaining this kind of thing.  
Teal'c raised his eyebrow a little. "It is him who has died O'Neill."  
"Right."  
"I will do as you say O'Neill."  
"Good. Have fun."  
O'Neill left the room and walked towards General Hammond's office. He knocked on the door.  
"Come in," the General's voice sounded from inside.  
"Sir."  
"Jacob went back through not long ago."  
"Sir I'd like to request that SG-1 remain on active duty until we find a replacement for Daniel."  
"Are you sure your team is ok with what happened?"  
O'Neill thought for a minute of all that had happened that day.  
"Yes sir."  
"Ok then."  
"Thank you sir."  
O'Neill turned and left Hammond's office. Even after everything that had happened, he still had a strange felling that somehow, everything was going to be ok.  
  
  
  
Please r/r suggestions and flames welcome. 


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